What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse (sometimes called domestic violence) is when someone you are in a close relationship with tries to control, frighten, or harm you.
It is not just about physical violence — abuse can take many forms, and it can happen to anyone, no matter their age, background, or circumstances.
Types of Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse can include:
Physical abuse – hitting, pushing, strangling, or any form of physical harm.
Emotional abuse – threats, name-calling, humiliation, constant criticism, or making you feel worthless.
Controlling behaviour – monitoring where you go, who you see, what you wear, or limiting access to money, work, or education.
Coercive control – patterns of intimidation, isolation, or manipulation designed to make you dependent on the abuser.
Sexual abuse – being forced into sexual activity without consent.
Financial abuse – taking your money, controlling your income, or building up debt in your name.
Digital/online abuse – using phones, social media, or technology to monitor, harass, or control you.
Important to remember
It is never your fault.
Abuse is always the responsibility of the abuser.
You are not alone — support is available.
Things an abuser might say
“No one else would ever want you.”
“You’re useless / worthless / crazy.”
“If you loved me, you’d do what I say.”
“Don’t tell anyone — no one will believe you.”
“I only get angry because you make me.” (blaming you for their behaviour)
“If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself / the kids / you.” (threats)
“You don’t need friends/family, you only need me.”
“You can’t manage without me.”
Things an abuser might do
Constantly check your phone, messages, or social media.
Stop you from seeing friends or family.
Control your money — take your wages, limit your spending, or put debts in your name.
Criticise your appearance, weight, clothes, or abilities to make you feel small.